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"You Can't Fight Evil With A Macaroni Duck!"

General musings and observations of the world. Commentaries and thoughts on various subjects. Links to interesting sites and programs. Site's name comes from the TV cartoon "The Tick". [Scott aka Alefifer]

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Location: somewhere on the eastern shore, Maryland, United States

Originally from Rhode Island and now living in Maryland. Happily married to my best friend and have two wonderful daughters. I have a sense of humor that sometimes takes over when I should be restraining it.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Checklist For The Open Road

Last night I was watching an interesting show on The History Channel. The show discussed various oracles and prophecies of the past. They also talked about the end of the world and how many different cultures shared a similar date.

Mark your calendar.
Winter solstice (December 21st-ish) 2012.

The Mayan calendar ends on this date and experts interpret this as being the end of the world. According to the Mayans the world has gone through this four times before and we will becoming the Fifth world at this time. At this time apparently the sun and the earth will line up perfectly with the center of our galaxy, where apparently a black hole resides, and perhaps we will be crossing some meridian or galactic midline.

The thoughts are that this could/will generate a change in our planet, possibly tilting our poles and causing global devastation.

But we already knew this was probably going to happen one day, didn't we? Yes it's something that all of us have read about in books. No I'm not talking about any religious book of revelations or prophecy...I'm talking about scientfic books, even tourist brochures. Yes this land was once under water. You've heard it. Many if not all of the big deserts of the world were once under water. Landmasses shift. The Earth washes itself off and begins again.

This show also pointed out that other cultures, like the Hopi, as well as some sages of yore (yes I just said "sages of yore". don't pick on me. just go with it) also predicted the same date as being one when the world will end.

Will it? Who knows. If it does I doubt I'll have to worry about my mortgage anymore. Though I do hope I get my sweater before then. (Sorry, inside joke)

This is not new. Back years ago I recall reading a book called We Are The Earthquake Generation, where it was predicted that massive earthquakes would rock our world and change the landscape of the world. Didn't happen. I'm still expecting it though. Any day now. Booom! But will that happen before the poles shift and the winds and waves pick up considerably.

And I haven't EVEN started to worry about that big asteroid that's heading towards us!

Sort of makes Canine Halitosis or your cats urinary tract health not seem like that big of a problem doesn't it?

But what the hell is this post about? You said something about a Checklist for the open road?

ah....
the truly entertaining part of last night was watching the commercials. Yes. It seems that demographics plays a large part in the commercials aired during this show because they all seemed to care about my penis.

I do believe penis is the word of the day.

Every commercial was for a Peter Pickerupper drug, with few exceptions. One of those exceptions was for a product I'm about to talk about.

The weather is fine. It's a nice day to get on you motorcycle and go out on a road trip with the guys.

Checklist before you mount your cruiser and take to the road.

sunglasses ...check
leather chaps ...check
bandanna or helmet ...check
chained wallet ...check
heavy boots ...check
kevlar-enforced leather riding jacket ...check
panty shields ...ch WHAT?!!!

Yes the commercial was an add for male panty shields.
They did not call them that. I am. That's what they were.
It featured a lot of older men dressed up in typical Bad Biker Attire, riding motorcyles and going off to do stuff together (like visit their grandchildren... I kid you not)

They called it a man cup, or some such thing.

Can you imagine the look on the face of the advertising guy when he was handed the job of coming up with an ad for a product for male incontinence and was asked to put a 'manly spin' on this panty shield product?

"Jim, If you can swing this one, there's a good chance we'll move you upstairs!"

Jim, I hope you got a promotion out of this one. This is a classic commercial. It's on par with the famous Quick Cook Grill. [Remember the Quick Cook Grill, it burned newspaper and 'gave you that wood smell since newspapers are made out of wood!' lol]

I'm eagerly awaiting the commercial showing...>edited< My stupid tasteless joke that wasn't funny was removed. Apologies to all.

Have a nice day. :-)